


The Third Tongue

by PostTeenager



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 12:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3810814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PostTeenager/pseuds/PostTeenager
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steven and the Crystal Gems take a walk down the boardwalk. Weird stuff happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Third Tongue

The Crystal Gems took a walk down the boardwalk.

“Mluh mluh” Said Steven.  


“What’s wrong with him.” Said Garnet. “Is he finally dying.”

“Eww, Steven?” Amethyst laughed. “Eat your ice cream normal, you huge dork!”   


“Steven, what are you doing?” Screeched Pearl.   


“Oh, this?” Steven asked, sticking out his tongue.   


The gems leaned forward, checking out Steven’s tongue. For the most part, a pretty standard human tongue. Pink. In the shape of a tongue. Probably good for tasting and such. Licking as well. Not a big deal.

“Steven.” Said Pearl. “It’s not polite to, uh, do that.” 

The cone was getting visibly soggy. 

Then Steven rolled his tongue. 

“OUUUU” Amethyst screamed. “HE’S DOING IT OUUUU”  


“Well done, Steven.” Said Garnet. “We’re proud of you.”  


“I’m not sure what I’m looking at, here.” Said Pearl, puzzled.  


“Connie told me that only some people can roll their tongues.” Said Steven, the ice cream now dripping down his hand. “So I guess I’m pretty unique.”   


“That’s really cool.” Said Garnet. “I can’t do that.”  


“Ahh, look at my tongue though!” Said Amethyst, folding her tongue into a cloverleaf.   


Pearl gave a horrified look. “For goodness sake, Amethyst, that’s disgusting. Steven, what an incredibly useless and absurd skill.”

“I think it’s neat.” Said Garnet.   


“Yeah, Pearl,” Said Amethyst. “I bet you’re jealous!”  


“Amethyst.” Said Pearl. “I am not jealous.”  


“Jealous, jealous.” Chanted Amethyst.  


“Haha. Pearl is jealous.” Chuckled Garnet.  


Steven finally reached the cone, and a soft, mushy crunch was audible as he started to bite it. 

“I’m not jealous. It’s just not the appropriate behavior of a Crystal Gem. After all, we are the guardians of this planet and all its living creatures.” Said Pearl.  


“She totally can’t do it.” Said Garnet.  


“Jealous, jealous.” Continued Amethyst, morphing into an anthropomorphized jar of preserves. “Pearl’s so jealous.”  


“Pearl.” Said Steven, looking up at his birds-related mother. “It’s not true, is it? You can do it, right?” He had tears in his eyes, and his face was absolutely sticky with ice cream.   


“Ick, Steven.” She said, digging around for a napkin. “Ugh.” She found one, spitting in it and polishing Steven’s disgusting face.   


“Peaarrllll.” Steven complained.  


“You’re gross.” She replied, pinching his nose. “Okay, blow.” He did, and she tossed the disgusting paper napkin into a trash can.

Again, Steven looked up at her. “Bird mom.”

“Don’tcallmethat.” Said Pearl.  


“Bird mom,” Steven continued, with fresh tears. “You can do it, right? Right?”  


“Ugh. Oh, Steven, of course I can. Everybody can.”  


“Can I see it?” Steven begged, desperately. “Pleeaassee!?”  


“Yeah, Pearl, show us!” Cried Amethyst.

“Bird mom, do the tongue thing. I am formally ordering you as a Crystal Gem.” Said Garnet.   


“DON’TCALLMETHAT!” Pearl squawked. “But alright. Just this once.”  


Pearl opened her mouth, and inside there was the infinite, yawning void, stretching out white and dark into the shuddering horizon. Steven could hear alien music, and he knew in that instant the true insignificance of man to a cold, dying universe. This was the song of the Old Gods, the Great Sleeping Ones, a mocking, laughing song. Death, a hideous mockery of what once was alive.

The mouth hung open, a humming, buzzing, mocking song issuing forth from it’s abyssal depths. Pearl’s eyes rolled back in her head, and she began to float as if suspended by invisible strings.

Garnet and Amethyst mouthed something silently to one another, each summoning their respective weapons. Garnet, her gauntlets. Amethyst, her whip. They lashed out at the boiling, hideous darkness issuing forth from Pearl’s gaping mouth. 

“IT’S THE THIRD TONGUE” Amethyst screamed. “KILL IT. KILL IT PLEASE.”  


Garnet stepped forward, swinging at the tongue over and over, punching it all the way back into Pearl’s mouth, finally putting her knuckles under the bird mom’s chin, striking her jaw up with a forceful uppercut. Pearl fell backwards, instantly unconscious.

Later, back at the temple, Steven was getting Pearl an ice pack. 

“Well, Steven-” Said Pearl through clenched teeth. “It could have been worse, you know?” She gave a sort of cringing, pained smile as she applied it to the side of her head.   


“What even happened?” Asked Steven.   


“Oh, well, Steven, you see-”  


“It’s the _third tongue_!” Amethyst shouted from the next room, “OUUUU”  


“Amethyst.” Garnet said from the doorway.  


“Well, Steven.” Pearl said. “As you’ve seen, some Gems can roll their tongue, some can make a cloverleaf, and some can do... That thing that happened. It’s actually somewhat common!”  


“Oh, okay, Pearl.” He said, and he seemed satisfied with the answer.   


“It’s good that we have Garnet and Amethyst here to defeat the chaos before it envelops the entire earth.” She added. “So you don’t need to be scared. It’s only escaped a few times. There were deaths.”

“Oh, okay, Pearl.” Steven said, somehow sounding less satisfied.   



End file.
